ESPN is reporting that Ben Roethlisberger’s attorney is denying that Roethlisberger assaulted a woman on the weekend.

Like really ESPN? Can’t you do another story on Tim Tebow or something?

The Roethlisberger story should be covered, but last time I checked an attorney’s job is to deny the charges.

Okay, that’s a little simplistic. If you can’t afford a good attorney, the bad (or overworked, or whatever) attorney’s job is to minimize the punishment. But high-priced attorney’s are paid to deny.

It’s like reporting on the sun rising and setting.

Today the Sun rose in the East. Our reporters were live on scene as light returned to us. We will be tracking the Sun’s movements closely all day and keep you constantly updated on its progress.

Experts from the Petroleum Foundation have noted that the very rising and setting of the sun is proof of how unreliable it is as a source of energy.

I thought I was rambling, but you somehow got 1000 word article out of Roethlisberger’s lawyer saying nothing. Good Job.